her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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