My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
