at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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