we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
