The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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