it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
