I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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