Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
