Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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