just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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