it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
