if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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