I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
