You smell like stripper and shame
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
