In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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