Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
