i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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