Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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