i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Couch. On fire.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize