Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
