Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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