i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
