Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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