she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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