You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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