you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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