STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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