I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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