Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
