NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
