cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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