shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
