I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Found your dick twin last night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
