You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
