ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
