"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
they're like a gay fantastic four
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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