I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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