im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
