She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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