That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
