u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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