if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
