i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
