Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
