umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize