No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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