I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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