i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
