Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize