Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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