im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
