the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
