State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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