is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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