She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
