We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
