these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
grandma shit on top of the toilet
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
