to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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