My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
